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Do you consider an unshakeable urge to place sizzling sauce on your watermelon? When reminded of the splendid money cash statistics takeover of 9-nine and both hundreds, are you able to resist backing dat azz up? Have you ever ever wished a motherfucker would?
if you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may well be plagued by being Excessively Black.
besides the fact that children this condition has plagued melanin-wealthy individuals for years, consultants traditionally regarded extreme Blackness to be a psychological syndrome that can strike at any time. Many people immediately disregarded Beyoncé when she certain her battle with the ailment. But both those individuals don’t should start to put their jeans on, or they don’t have the genetic markers for EB (It’s most regularly discovered amongst these whose daddy is Alabama and mama is Louisiana).
besides the fact that children, a contemporary scientific leap forward via researchers at Black Twitter has revealed a explanation for the syndrome that surpasses Don Lemon’s “openly Black” virus. TikToker @sweetsky66 first exposed the disorder when she performed a voicemail from a very white job applicant who had curiously researched the concern.
“lamentably, i’m legally unable to work with anyone that’s ethnic or minority or that’s excessively Black generally as a result of I even have a Caucasian-Irish-English heritage,” explained the unknown caller who obviously has a Ph.D. In Karenomics. “also, as a result of loads of the Hispanics and the Blacks and a lot of the people…They are typically kind of questionable…Alas, on account of my heritage, i will’t be associated with that.”
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however the woman is without doubt afflicted with Negro mobilephone Anemia, this Black-folks illiberal racist is the primary credentialed Beckyologist to supply a name to the scientific concern.
extreme Blackness is actual. It’s most commonly recognized in African americans who are fuck-poor and are thereby unable to supply a fuck in regards to the white gaze. Found regularly at cookouts, Frankie Beverly and Maze concert events, and locations that serve fish sandwiches on paper plates, some of the most popular carriers consist of Harriet Tubman, Malcolm X, Ida B. Wells, and Keisha (all of them).
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on account that this illness was found, the basis labored with researchers on the Royal academic Academy for Logical Neurologists and the overseas group for decent-Ass Science (REALNIGGAS) to advance a complete self-examination to inform our readers in case you can be Excessively Black
1. Your boss informs you that you’ve got been selected for a merchandising that doubles your revenue. Do you:
A. Smile, grip his hand with a firm handshake, and say: “thank you!”B. Hug him.C. Millie Rock.D. Scream “hallelujah!” while breaking into a full Holy Ghost shout.